Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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