Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize