so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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