after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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