Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
