i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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