My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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