No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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