3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
