I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
