Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
