were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
