Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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