I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
