I will die if light touches me.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
