i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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