This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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