You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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