Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
