drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He shit in the fireplace
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
