i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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