I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
