dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
