It's Friday. Sex?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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