That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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