And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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