the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
