My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well you can't waste a boner
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
