Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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