what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
