also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
