Tell her she can't have a vagina
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
