ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
