Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
