GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
