I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
