I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
