fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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