kristin has been a bad kristin
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
