They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
