apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
