I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
