You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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