My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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