i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
