Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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