I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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