i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
