he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
