office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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